Henry has recently got promoted to Head of Strategy position, a significantly large leadership role directly reporting into the CEO. In the previous role, Henry was a high performer, a technical specialist with a great acumen for managing relationships as well. He is not the quintessential top school MBA graduate. However he has spent a relatively large time in the frontline, managing sales and sales support.
New in the role, he constantly feels “I shouldn’t be in the position I am in because I don’t know these things, I don’t have the pedigree, and I don’t have the experience ”.
He has to now deal with senior grey-haired peers who come with years of leadership experience. Henry says “I want to do well, I am committed, I build good relationships with others, however I am not good enough”.
Henry feels anxious and stressed in the new role. He believes deep down that it is only a matter of time until he is caught faking!
It can get quite overwhelming in a new role, especially in the first 1 year. The feelings that Henry is experiencing here can be generalised as Impostor Syndrome. You have Impostor Syndrome if you believe that you are not as bright or competent or talented as people think you are. It is about feeling secretly unworthy.
However, it is important to know that your mind is thinking you to be incompetent, and it is not a reality. I’ve met a lot of people struggling with Impostor Syndrome — people who’ve seriously curtailed their impact (and their wellbeing) — and I’ve come to suspect that imposter syndrome might be especially common, and especially harmful, among people trying to have high-impact careers.
Three self coaching questions to reflect on, that can help you get your headspace cleared, and figure out ways to manage your Impostor Syndrome:
Self Coaching Question 1: What is it in your current situation that is triggering your Impostor Syndrome?
Self Coaching Question 2: While you are being an Imposter, what value or contributions are you currently bringing in?
Self Coaching Question 3: What new habits do you need to develop, to succeed in your current situation? What will help you build these new habits?
10 June,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. I have impostor syndrome. And I suspect many other people trying to have a big impact with their career do, too. For a long time impostor syndrome massively limited what I brought forward, causing me to work extra hard, please people, and feel anxious most of the times. However, through investment in self-development , coaching and making certain life style choices, I have mostly overcome it.
Three ways that I found very meaningful, to deal with Impostor Syndrome are:
1.) Labeling my negative thoughts about myself and question their validity. For example the negative thoughts are– “I will fail” or “I am not good enough”. Ask yourself- "if I have risen so far, have I never ever experienced any failures?” High chances are that your answer is "Yes I did fail". So then ask your self, “How did I deal with my failures, and how catastrophic were my failures”?
2.) Got a coach for myself (yes, even though I am myself a trained coach): Our brain tends to become a echo chamber of negative thoughts, and we soon get fogged with our own thinking. Having a coach to structure your thoughts, reframe your view, and set up small action steps is necessary to deal with impostor syndrome.
3.) Being kind to self: I reminded myself that when in a career transition, I am entitled to make small mistakes occasionally, and forgive yourself. Give yourself at least 6-12 months to rise up the competence ladder. And don’t forget to reward yourself for getting the small things right, as you go through this journey.
"It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I’m just going, Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved. I can’t possibly live up to what everyone thinks I am and what everyone’s expectations of me are!”
-Emma Watson, Actress
Aakash has joined an year ago. He feels that each time he suggests something in a meeting, or share an update on work, his boss always fact checks it with someone else, and rarely takes Aakash’s word alone. Aakash is feel humiliated and belittled. This attitude from my manager is bringing my self-confidence down.
Aakash, frustrated, is contemplating between confronting his manager, or finding a new job and moving on!
It can feel like your are constantly walking on eggshells, when your manager does not have trust in your capabilities. Many times it can be because of the individual operating style of the manager. Also, sometimes it can be because of how you present your thoughts which may not be aligned to your manager’s style or expectations. It is however important to not get confrontational as that can be a big career limiting move! It is also never prudent to press the exit button….at least not until you have made an effort to set things right between you and your manager!
Three self coaching questions to reflect on, that can help you get your headspace cleared, and figure out ways to resolve this challenge:
Self Coaching Question 1: To what extent might my current way of sharing information with my manager be contributing to this behaviour of fact checking?
Self Coaching Question 2: What changes can I bring to my style of information sharing , before, during or after the meeting, to align it better with my manager’s style?
Self Coaching Question 3: What request might I make to my manager to create a more trusting relationship with them?
22nd May,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. Getting your Boss to trust you completely, is a critical success factor in one's career. One should have a strategic plan to “manage up” and figure out how to work with your manager more effectively. No matter how good or bad your manager may be, it’s vital—and, honestly, it’s your job—to make this relationship work.
Top 3 suggestions that I could lay my hands on, to build a trusting relationship with your manager are: 1.) Know your leader’s priorities- both what they love to do , and what they have to do. 2.) Understand your leader’s personality, and align...don't expect them to level up with your’s. 3.) Never allow your boss to be blindsided, or be surprised. Be the first one to let them know, if there is a rude call or crisis coming their way.
"It takes two to do the trust tango–the one who risks (the trustor) and the one who is trustworthy (the trustee); each must play their role."
-Charles H. Green, The Trusted Advisor
Tanya is a newly promoted Business Head. Having spent close to a decade in her current organization, she has built a reputation of a great executor, who gets things done. In her new role she is unable to cope up with the leadership demands and she finds herself constantly battling against time and trying her level best to achieve her daily To- Do list. She never seems to have enough “thinking time”, and her days never ending. She is feeling fatigued, Confused and concerned. Tanya is wondering where to start and how to get back on track!
This is not a rare occurrence and many first time leader or CXOs go through a phase of clutter, are unable to priorities their day between strategy and execution
Three self coaching questions to reflect on, that can help you get started on a stronger path are:
Self Coaching Question 1: (2x2 Rule of prioritization) Who are my top two stakeholders in the current role, and what two outcomes do they expect from me in the next 90 days?
Self Coaching Question 2: If I had just one hour each day at work, what task would I prioritise as non-negotiable and which tasks would I delegate/ stop doing?
Self Coaching Question 3: What needs to change for you to be successful in this direction?
14th May,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. One of the most difficult transitions for leaders to make is the shift from doing to leading. As a new manager you can get away with holding on to work. Peers and bosses may even admire your willingness to keep “rolling up your sleeves” to execute tactical assignments. But as your responsibilities become more complex, the difference between an effective leader and a super-sized individual contributor with a leader’s title is painfully evident.
As per a HBR article, the strategy should be to practice saying “yes,” “no,” and “yes, if.” This is the art and science of being selective. Successful investors don’t divert their money into every opportunity that comes their way, so we should be equally discerning with our time. Start by carefully assessing every demand that comes your way, and align the asks with the highest-valued contributions that you’re most needing to make. For those requests that will yield maximum value as per your strategic stakeholders demands, you say yes.. But for those requests that don’t create maximum value, you say yes, if… and immediately identify other people in your team or peer group to accomplish the goals through their direct involvement. You may still consult, motivate, and lead — but you’re essential as the catalyst, not as the muscle doing the heavy lifting.
"Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels."
-Laura Vanderkam
I feel stagnated in my career. There don't seem to be too many choices that I can see that will help me grow. How do I figure out my next steps?
Self Coaching Question 1: What does your next level of your career look like?
Self Coaching Question 2: If you only had time to master one skill for your next level, what would you choose?
Self Coaching Question 3: What can you do to connect with two individuals, who are already living the 'next level' of career that you desire to be in?
6th May,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. Often a precursor to burnout, career stagnation is a lack of engagement in your work. Career stagnation is being faced by many professionals, especially in their 30s and 40s. It could be a situation where we've reached a plateau in our current role, and not seeing clarity on how to either pursue a different career path, or reenergize our current career path.
3 steps to manage career stagnation are: 1.) set up not 1, not 2, but at least 3 goals (like a goal portfolio) that you would like to envision yourself doing next. 2.) Speak to atleast 2 people under each goal to learn how they reached where they are today, and 3.) Look for opportunities and not a job that gives you exposure to your goals. These could be in the form of projects, part-time assignments, or even a side hustle that helps you experience a bit of where you want to be!
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
-Thomas A Edison
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How do I manage my communication, when I do not agree with another individual? I either lose my temper or I shut myself down.
Self Coaching Question 1: What is the vision of the ideal outcome from a potentially conflicting conversation ?
Self Coaching Question 2: How would you want to ideally feel at the end of such a conversation?
Self Coaching Question 3: What is one thing you can do to contribute to a positive outcome?
29th April,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. Conflict in the workplace is inevitable, simply because people are different from one another, and is caused by one of the following- Poor communication, personality clashes, lack of clarity or scarcity of resources (including time).
3 things to do, to manage conflicts better at work:
1.)Accept conflict. Remember that conflict is natural and happens in every ongoing relationship.
2.)Separate the person from the problem. View the problem as a specific behavior or set of circumstances rather than attributing negative feelings to the whole person.
3.)Be a calming agent. Regardless of whether you are being a sounding board for a friend or you are dealing with your own conflict, your response to the conflict can escalate or decrease the intensity of the problem.
“In conflict, be fair and generous.” – Lao Tzu
I feel like I am stuck in a routine at work. How do I get out of this rut?
Self Coaching Question 1: What does stuck in a routine look like ?
Self Coaching Question 2: What would being “unstuck” look like?
Self Coaching Question 3: What is the one action you are willing to commit to, towards becoming unstuck?
22nd April,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. Feeling stuck is this overarching sense that you need to do something to move yourself from the place you’re in to the place you’d rather be – but you just can’t. One can feel stuck because of various factors ranging from indecisiveness, to fear of failure, to even low self-esteem about one's capabilities to try new things.
Reflect and write down your answers to the above three questions, and inspire yourself towards taking that one action towards becoming unstuck.
“If you feel stuck, move. You're not a tree.”― Germany Kent
I am in a comfort zone, and I don't have the courage to take any risks in my life or career.
Self Coaching Question 1: Define what your current zone looks like ?
Self Coaching Question 2: Are there any decisions that you have been avoiding making w.r.t. your own progress?
Self Coaching Question 3: What would you pursue if you knew you couldn’t fail?
15th April,2024
Inspire.DIY - Theme of the week
P.S. A comfort zone is a psychological state where people are ease and (perceive they are) in control of their environment, experiencing low levels of anxiety and stress. During your career, you may encounter situations when it's important to get out of your comfort zone and take risks.
4 steps to prepare oneself to move away from comfort zone: 1.) Discover more about potential challenge you perceive, 2.) Devise a plan, 3.) Take small steps, and 4.) Find accountability partners in your journey
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
